3 Mile walk

Last week I set a goal of one 18 minute mile for 6 days out of the week. Saturdays are my off days. I walked a 16 minute mile for 3 miles today. Last Friday and this Sunday I didn't walk so I felt like I owed myself 3 miles all together today.

I feel good. I thought I would be exhausted, but I am not.

I bought a new pedometer, 'cause I can't find the other 5 that are lost somewhere in my house.

I think I need to have 10,000 steps a day in order to lose weight? I went to the grocery store and I walked 3 miles but I haven't hit 5,000 steps yet. I only have a few more hours before bed to get those other 5,000 steps in...Hmm. Now I can see why I haven't been losing weight. I have to get up more, move more, and walk more!

Next weigh-in is Wednesday...ut oh

Today was a good day

Exercise is coming easier because my energy is coming back.

I made spaghetti for the family and wanted some myself. I didn’t have any gluten-free pasta and didn’t want to run to the store. So I searched the internet and found a simple recipe for gnocchi made with 3 cups of corn flour and a quart of boiling water. I used the masa harina I was using to make tortillas and substituted out ½ cup tapioca flour. It still turned out good. This can sustain me until I can find something better or different. I will be experimenting a lot.

I am off to walk my 19 minute mile. I was trying to walk with friends but that didn’t work out. Every one including myself had a dozen excuses for not walking. So I decided to use “Walk Away the Pounds” and SparkPeople.com.

I feel some motivation coming. Hey now!

My butt has gotten way too big to keep making excuses. Okay I am putting myself on blast. Today I weigh in at 178 lbs. Let’s see how motivated I really am?

Well thanks for checking me out.

"Nothing's wrong with you..."

Okay, I made it through an endoscopy and a colonoscopy only to find out that I still don’t know for sure if I have Celiac Disease.

After waking up from the sedative I asked the Doctor if I would have a follow up appointment to discuss the results of the two tests.

“No you are fine, there is nothing wrong with your colon or stomach”, he says.

“Oh I thought you had to get the results back from the biopsy of my stomach?”

“I didn’t do a biopsy, your stomach looks perfect, except a small infection,” he beams proudly.

I am still half asleep trying to think clearly and end up babbling something about the rash I had and what should I do if it comes back.

“Stay away from the wheat and if the rash comes back, go see an allergist and they can do a test,” he says as he sticks out his forearm and pokes it with his finger to demonstrate the test. “I’ll see you in 3 to 4 months to see how that diet is treating you, other wise I’ll see you in 10 to 15 years”, he says waving goodbye and walking away.

To be honest, right now I am wondering if all that went exactly as I just wrote it. Why do people talk to you when you are coming out of sedation, like you are going to remember what you said let alone what they said? Anyway I am sure I am pretty close to what was said.

Two days later I am going over all that has happened in the last 3 weeks. All of a sudden I start laughing out loud. This is a weird reaction to realizing that I had spoken a non-diagnosis into existence. I was laughing to keep from tearing something up and yelling at the top of my lungs. I am telling myself, I’m in control and I had two choices. I probably had more but I was cognoscente of only two. I could fall back into my old rant of how doctors are idiots who like treating people like guinea pigs. Or I could accept the fact that I had a healthy colon and did not have any ulcers, IBS, GERD, or any other digestive malfunction.

I talked to my dear husband and came to the conclusion that I would avoid wheat at all cost. If I happened to get a reaction in the future I would gather all the information I had from all the books I have read and take that information with me to an allergist and demand to be tested correctly for CD.

What Is Done In The Dark…

…will come to light

OMG! What is the deal with Rev. Jesse Jackson? First, it is released in the media that he wants to cut off Barack Obama’s testicles and now we find out that he is still using the “N” word. Is the world going to come to an end? Well, yes it is but not because of the good reverend. Jesse Jackson was publicly exposed for having a child outside of his marriage to Mrs. Jacqueline Jackson I just don’t understand how Jesse can want to mutilate Barack Obama for asking men who have fathered children to do more as a parent? Is it guilt?

This is a portion of the speech Obama gave on Father’s Day earlier this year:

“…Yes, we need more cops on the street. Yes, we need fewer guns in the hands of people who shouldn't have them. Yes, we need more money for our schools, and more outstanding teachers in the classroom, and more after school programs for our children. Yes, we need more jobs and more job training and more opportunity in our communities.

But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child – it's the courage to raise one.

We need to help all the mothers out there who are raising these kids by themselves; the mothers who drop them off at school, go to work, pick up them up in the afternoon, work another shift, get dinner, make lunches, pay the bills, fix the house, and all the other things it takes both parents to do. So many of these women are doing a heroic job, but they need support. They need another parent. Their children need another parent. That's what keeps their foundation strong. It's what keeps the foundation of our country strong.” http://www.barackobama.com/2008/06/15/remarks_of_senator_barack_obam_78.php

To me this is the old “kill the messenger” or cut off his testicles attitude. It reminds me of the child in school who doses not get enough attention at home. So when he gets to school he acts out in class. For this child any attention, even attention for bad behavior is good because it is attention.

November 27, 2006 Rev. Jackson asked that people stop using the “N” word. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/11/27/entertainment/main2211059.shtml Guess what word Jackson has been using lately? So much for practice what you preach. This almost makes me wonder what else we will find out about Rev. Jackson…Hmm. My mom used to say what is done in the dark will eventually come to the light.

Peace of God

I am living life to the fullest everyday and resting in the peace of God which passes all understanding. I am trying to live in the present. I refuse to be stuck in the past. I will not get carried away by the future. This quote is a favorite of mine from the book A New Earth, pages 56-58 Eckhart Tolle writes:

"There are many accounts of people who experienced the emerging new dimension of consciousness as a result of tragic loss at some point in their lives. Some lost all of their possessions, others their children or spouse, their social position, reputation, or physical abilities. In some cases, through disaster or war, they lost all of these simultaneously and found themselves with 'nothing'. We may call that a limit situation. Whatever they had identified with whatever gave them their sense of self had been taken away. Then suddenly and inexplicably, the anguish or intense fear they initially felt gave way to a sacred sense of Presence, a deep peace and serenity and complete freedom from fear. This phenomenon must have been familiar to St. Paul, who used the expression 'the peace of God which passeth all understanding.' It is indeed a peace that doesn’t seem to make sense, and the people who experience it asked themselves: In the face of this, how can I feel such peace? "
"…Whenever tragic loss occurs, you either resist or you yield. Some people become bitter or deeply resentful; others become compassionate, wise, and loving. Yielding means inner acceptance of what is. You are open to life. Resistance is an inner contraction, a hardening of the shell of the ego. You are closed. Whatever action you take in a state of inner resistance (which we could also call negativity) will create more outer resistance, and the universe will not be on your side; life will not be helpful. If the shutters are closed, the sunlight cannot come in. When you yield internally, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence, the unconditioned consciousness which in a state of inner openness you become one with. Circumstances and people then become helpful, cooperative. Coincidences happen. If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God. "
-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

From endoscopy to colonoscopy

I had the endoscopy and it was not bad at all. I had gotten myself all worked up and scared. They gave me an IV with a sedative. I don't even remember having it done. I just woke up to my husband telling joke and acting silly. The doctor said everything looked normal but my blood work showed I was anemic. So guess what, he wants me to have a colonoscopy. Okay so I haven't completely freaked out. I am doing a lot of praying and tapping. Tapping is EFT, emotional freedom technique, if you go to emofree.com you can read up on it.

Oh yeah I have this itch all over that started about two weeks ago. At first there were no bumps, rash or hives just itching. Well now there is a rash, pink and irritating. I know it has to do with wheat because I had been eating wheat. I had the bright idea that I would enjoy some homemade dinner rolls and a hamburger since I wouldn't be able to after I was told I had CD. And it was the holiday, so celebrate. Stupid move, now I am miserable taking Benadryl every 4 to 6 hours and putting calamine lotion on just so I can sleep at night. I would itch in the past when I would eat wheat but I never really put it all together until I started researching to figure out what was wrong with me. I started to make an appointment with a dermatologist or allergist but changed my mind, dealing with one doctor is enough for me.

I am now watching everything that goes into my mouth. I am reading the ingredients on all packages. I am looking at wheat as if it were poison.

Oh I did schedule the colonoscopy. Bite the bullet and get this done. uh...

Completed first step

I completed the first step and made an appointment with a doctor. It was scheduled for mid July. At first that did not seen far away until I had diarrhea for several days. I called and got an appointment that same day. I may be anxious about doctors but when I am sick I will bite the bullet and go. The doctor wanted blood tests and an endoscopy. At first just knowing I had to have the endoscopy set me on ten. I was ready to freak out with fear but then I took a deep breath and focused on the fact that GOD did not give me the spirit of fear. Well, I actually did freak out, then I focused on the moment and went to the lab for blood work the next day.

I seemed to be propelled forward with the need to overcome fear and to get this over with. So I set up the appointment for the endoscopy for a week later. In the days following that I have been up, down, sad, anxious and happy. I was elated because I felt like I had accomplished a great feat in just going to the doctor and the lab. It then hit me, if I am diagnosed with celiac disease I would have to give up all wheat products. My thoughts began to go over the extensive list of products with wheat in it. It overwhelmed and saddened me but I will not let that stop me from getting answers.

Instead of becoming paralyzed and doing nothing. I just keep telling myself to take one day at a time and I will have my answers shortly.