Anxiety over doctors

My husband has been telling me to go to the doctor and find out what has been wrong with me because my stomach ailments and my body aches have been getting progressively worse. But for me going to the doctor seems to be easier said than done.

Maybe that's because I have been misdiagnosed by at several doctors and treated like a research project by some others. I have been simply told nothing was wrong with me after multiple tests from many different doctors. When I was a child I loved my pediatrician, Dr. Seskin. I was always going in for colds and scrapes and bruises from falls. Every winter I would get a terrible cold just in time for Christmas and or my birthday it was like clock work. I also had some type of stomach problem back then because I remember having to use suppositories. I actually looked forward to getting those small lollipops with the string loop from the doctor. I remember being diagnosed with anemia which got worst during puberty. My hormones were all out of whack I would have cramps so bad that it hurt when people would walk across the floor. I remember a gynecologist gave me something called ponstal (I am not sure if I am spelling it right). When I continued to complain he told me he would have to do an internal scope. It was not what he told me but the way he told me. The tone of his voice was as if I had done something wrong or I was lying about having such pain. After that I suffered in silence month after month.
I have always been lactose intolerant even before we knew what it was. I only have memories of adding lots of ice to my milk before drinking it. I do not remember having stomach issues I just remember being asked all the time why I put ice in my milk and saying it made it taste better.
When my husband and I first got married we would got to his mothers for dinner almost every Sunday and by the time we left I would be bloated, have flatulence and have acid indigestion. I was sick! I started carrying Tums or Rolaids with me. I was the only one getting sick, it was quite strange to say the least.

Oh my goodness, looking back I realize I have had health issues for most of my life. I understand why my husband once told me he thought I was a hypochondriac. I have had so many health issues I could write a long book, but I wont. Just know that I have made an appointment with a gastroenterologist. I severely dislike going to doctors. But I am sick and tired of getting sicker and tired-er. I already know what the problem is but my husband and cousin want me to stop self diagnosing myself. They want a real diagnosis from a real doctor. The running joke between my husband and I is that I am not a doctor but I play one at home. I was very anxious about going to the doctor but after talking to my brother I feel less anxious. Plus there is no sense in worrying about the unknown. If I don't get answers from this doctor I can get a second opinion, right.

Oh well anxiety or not I am going to the doctor.

Being wheat free is a trip

I have not had any wheat in about a week, my digestive system and my body have been treating me with love and respect. I have not had the big D. I haven't broken out in a funky rash. My sinuses and ears are not congested and my skin is not itchy. However, I am frustrated because I am having major addictive, crack like cravings for bread, buns, biscuits, pancakes, and anything with yeast/wheat combination. I was feeling a little sorry for myself because I couldn't have what I am craving. Then I realized that I had prayed for a long time asking GOD to show me what was wrong with me. There is no way I could remain upset because He showed me what the problem is. I have to admit that it is a problem and I have to figure out how to deal with it. I am grateful to GOD for that answer. I no longer feel like an arthritic lady and that was one of my excuses for not exercising regularly. I guess it takes a while to get rid of laziness because I still haven't started exercising regularly.

Today I weigh 178.5 which is good because I really pigged out this weekend. I ate a lot of candy (caramels and chocolate) and drank beer (oops that has barley in it I should be careful of that also) because we were celebrating my friend's birthday.

I just started reading "Gluten-free girl: How I Found The Food That Loves Me Back & How You Can Too" by Shauna James Ahern. I just checked it out from the library today so I will see if there is good information in it. I hope it helps!

In order to make change I must admit I have a problem

It is so easy to recognize when other people have issues, but when it comes to self I sometimes have problems recognizing my issues. I can tell my friends and family how they should exercise and what they should and should not eat so that they do not develop health issues. I give them all kinds of advice. “You should start out walking an 18 minute mile everyday. This will get you started. Then you can work your way up to 3 mile in 3 weeks. Be sure you eat breakfast. Do not skip meals, eat 6 small meals. You don’t want your body to think it is in starvation. If it thinks it is in starvation it will begin to store fat cells and you will actually gain instead of losing.” I go on and on about adding strength training. I get all excited about telling others how they should get into shape; all the while I am 40 pounds over weight and keep yo-yoing 5 to 10 pounds.

I keep fighting my way to 145 hitting a wall at 177. I am not enlisting my own advice I keep telling myself this is the first day of a new journey but it keeps feeling like the movie Ground Hogs Day. If you have not seen the movie I’ll make a long story short. In the movie the same day is repeated over and over again. Hmm, can I enlist my own advice?

Well, we shall see over the next month I will be keeping track of my efforts and being more accountable. In order to make change I must admit I have a problem.