Codependency for me is, when caretaking goes wrong.
It is crossing others boundaries and not having boundaries of my own.
It is over stepping my responsibilities and forcing my help on other people. Then being frustrated when they do not take my advice or help.
Yes, it is about control, controlling, and being controlled.
It is about taking care of others needs, issues, pain and drama/chaos while forgoing my own.
It is about labeling myself as wife, mother, daughter, sister, sister in law, daughter in law, aunt, teacher, lover, friend, confidant, adviser, maid, gardener, maintenance person for car, maintenance for home, dog walker, dog caregiver, cook, window washer, plumber and the list goes on and on 'til the break of dawn. Ha Ha. Then trying as fast and hard as I can be everything to and for everybody...until one day it all just falls apart. Then, I am sitting in the middle of self-destruction.
Codependency does not only involve alcoholics and addicts. It can involve people in abusive and or unhealthy relationships, addicts of all kinds (food, sex, pain, drama/chaos, gambling...), sick and elderly parents, and etc. It involves survivors of dysfunctional relationships, whether it is sexual abuse survivors or abusive relatives. Most people who grow up in a dysfunctional family repeat the dysfunctional behavior if they do not seek help from a professional.
God can see you through any and all situations. I also believe God puts therapists, counselors, life coaches, mentors, psychologists, and psychiatrists here to help to heal the mentally, emotionally, and spiritually wounded. I thank God for these professionals because with out them I would still be floating in a deep dark abyss. I also thank God that I am on the road called recovery.
"Are you healthy enough to love other people without getting lost in their needs?"
Melody Beattie- 'The New Codependency'
